Friday, December 15, 2017

Top 5: Christmas Horror Movies

Hello, all!

So Christmas is rapidly approaching, and when everyone else is curling up on the couch watching Freeform's 25 Days of Christmas, here are a few *ahem* less family friendly films to get you through the festive season.




1. Silent Night, Deadly Night: After witnessing a man in a Santa suit kill his parents on the side of the road when he was 5, Billy isn't the biggest fan of Christmas/Santa in general. Now a young man, Billy is asked to stand in as Santa at the little toy store he works at, things go awry and something snaps in Billy, leading him to go on a killing spree, including impaling a lady on a set of deer antlers hanging on a wall, decapitating a sledder and shouting "Naughty!" at everyone before he dispenses his Yuletide justice.



2. Jack Frost: No, I'm not talkin' about the weird family movie where Michael Keaton dies and then comes back as a snowman to have another chance at being a good dad. I mean, it's sorta the same, someone does come back to life as a snowman, but it's a serial killer (aptly named, Jack Frost) who crashes into a truck full of "genetics material" on his way to his execution. What ensues next is what B-movie dreams are made of: a killer snowman terrorizing the quiet town of Snowmonton.



3. Rare Exports: Ok, I have to admit, I had no idea what was going on throughout this entire movie, but I do know it was cuh-reepy. It's a Finnish movie and even with the subtitles, I really couldn't understand much, but the gist is that a research group was drilling on top of what ended up being an ancient burial chamber which a young boy thinks is Santa's, who in this story is a horned being who beats naughty kids and boils them in his cauldron. Then there's some slaughtered reindeer and a bunch of naked Elves running in the woods, and plans to blow up Santa before he can do anymore damage. This one left me with no words except for, "HUH?"



4. A Christmas Horror Story: Unlike the others on this list, this is more of an anthology movie, and the thread that holds all four storylines together is William Shatner as a radio DJ who pretty much just talks throughout the entire thing. Since it's a bunch of different stories together, there's a creep factor for almost everyone: you got your ghost possession, evil clones, Krampus and zombie elves...and a partridge in a pear tree.



5. Gremlins: This is my favorite Christmas horror/but not really horror movie. It's definitely the most family friendly on this list, but it's still got some scare elements to it. Like, I dunno what's worse finding out the smell coming from your chimney wasn't a dead animal or listening to a bunch of bat-eared leathery green reptile thing-a-majigs screech out some Christmas carols on your front porch. There's also a ton of comedy in the movie as well, the entire scene of the Gremlins in the movie theater watching Snow White kills me as well as Corey Feldman just delivering Christmas trees while dressed as a tree.



6 comments:

  1. This is an awesome list. The Jack Frost movie is one of my favorites. Have you seen Krampus? It's comedy/horror and I've seen it twice. Such a fun list.

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    1. I've only seen the bits of Krampus but I definitely feel like I would like it. I'll have to check it out!

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  2. This list has my husband's name all over it. Lol. Two years ago he unofficially declared Krampus as our new holiday tradition *face palm* We tried watching the The Elf last night, but the sound edits were terrible and the story edits were even worse -we couldn't figure out/hear what was going on.

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    1. I've never heard of The Elf, but the summary online sounds pretty cool, that's a bummer it didn't work out.

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  3. I love horror movies, and action movies, but for whatever reason I've never thought much about binging on Christmas horror movies (except for Gremlins, which like you said is not horror horror but kinda). I think it's time for me to start and I think I'll start with this list!

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    1. Christmas horror movies usually tend to be a little ridiculous and I love it haha. I hope you like them!

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